We’re a couple weeks into a new year and, if you’re like me, you’ve already started to falter on some of those big resolutions and goals you set for yourself in 2020. Like clockwork, each January we all make the same half-hearted attempt to make THIS year the best year ever! Personally, I could almost schedule out January every year past, present and future:
- Eat healthier after a rather gluttonous stretch between Thanksgiving and New Years.
- Workout consistently. See the bullet above.
- Add 1 or 2 positive habits to my life. In the past, I’ve committed to reading more books, learning sign language, guzzling at least 80 oz of water a day and commit to stretching more. My success rate at these is, well, less than ideal.
But I’ll admit – I’m convinced this year will be different. It’s not going to be different because I’m more motivated. It’s going to be different because I’ve finally accepted the fact that the goals I made aren’t important. I shouldn’t continue to make them each January 1st and expect to succeed when I actually don’t care enough to succeed. I enjoy delicious food, I workout (enough-ish), and adding random habits isn’t a recipe for success.
I came to realize these resolutions aren’t important to me while reflecting on my experience with the Connection Challenge in December. While on this quest to shed light on the truly important aspects of life and the relationships we hold, I came to grips with what I call the Reality Equation:
Time + Energy = YOUR Reality
Where you spend your time and where you spend your mental (or physical) energy will always define your reality.
For me, I want to spend time and energy being healthy, but I don’t want to commit more time and more energy than I’m already committing. Therefore, THIS is MY Reality. This Dad-bod is what I’m comfortable living with, so I should focus my additional time and energy elsewhere.
I’ve now gone back and created a smaller, more focused list of priorities for 2020. They’re all ones to which I know I can commit the time. They’re all ones into which I genuinely want to put my energy. They will undoubtedly become MY Reality – and if they don’t, when I look back to see why I failed, the answer will undoubtedly be because I did not commit a sufficient amount of time or energy to ensure success.
The Connection Challenge helped a lot of people recognize where they were spending their time, energy or both. In some cases, it didn’t match their goals, desires or intentions. Some of us spend our time and energy in relationships which don’t serve us. We spend our time and energy surfing social media instead of committing to the side hustle we “say” we want to pursue. In short, our actions don’t match our words. Our results – or our reality – merely match where we commit our time and energy.
The key is recognizing the result of the Reality Equation. We’ve all made goals we didn’t attain. We’ve all fallen short in efforts to learn a new skill or improve ourselves. That’s OK. Failure can be a great motivator. But in those situations where we failed, one of two things will happen. You either:
- Commit the time and mental energy to succeed. You continue to try. You make it a priority. Or,
- You are willing to say it’s just not important enough to you. If it was, you’d put in the time and energy.
Time + Energy = YOUR Reality. What is YOUR Reality in 2020?